My values.. or thoughts.. or facts about myself (with my behavior that goes against them noted):
1. I would fight for my life if I were in some sort of catastrophic accident. But then again, I did once consider faking an injury because running a 5k was too hard. I have since stopped being a wimp (at 5ks). I have taken up being a wimp at driving stick shifts. More on that later today.
2. I’m not down with borrowing money. That is going to make starting up a startup interesting, and by the way I have a mortgage.
3. I only like fruits and vegetables, and salt makes me angry (hey, this is my list). However, out of laziness at home sometimes and always when I eat out, I eat things that I know are bad for me and pretty much every participant in the food chain. Maybe this one is better stated, “I care about my health, and I am not sure what to think about the food chain.”
4. I feel fulfilled when I can help someone solve a problem, as long as it isn’t an interpersonal problem (which is not fulfilling because I don’t know how to solve those).
5. I must learn something every single day or I panic by bedtime. Some days, I’m lazy. And by the way, I don’t mean this like, today I learned that pigs have orgasms for ten minutes! (they do apparently). I mean.. today I learned what questions to ask during a client interview for tax planning. Something that might save me if all else employment-related fails. Hm. That sounds like fear is a value. Let’s call it preparedness and move on.
6. I want to be self-employed. I’m not. Shout out to my boss! <— Proof that I am never satisfied, because it pretty much doesn’t get better than where I work.
7, but should be 2, or if I’m being politically correct, 1. For weeks, my handwritten list had a long blank line, with “love” written in pencil above it. This gigantic source of material for the human condition should be on this list if vegetables are, I’m pretty sure. So a blank line was on my list, on my fridge, with the world “love” penciled in. Then I came across this quote: Some roads are not meant to be traveled alone. So I erased “love” and wrote that in. That will do for now.
Now I wait. How long can you live in opposition to a value before it isn’t a value? Will more come up? And when will I be comfortable enough with these to live them fully?
Know thyself. That is difficult.
