On motivation, validation, and how I started working from home. Part 1 of 5

This week’s series is about how I came to be a worker-from-home, the ups and downs, the way I stay motivated, and my recommendations for dealing with things you might not expect to come up if you go down this road.

I started working from home two years ago almost to the day. It happened by accident and not because I was seeking it out. Back then, I was in such a terrible state about my career (and how I was sure I had ruined my life becoming a lawyer) and the actual place I was working that I had decided to quit four months after starting there. The plan was to take three months completely off, and then work for three months setting up an online baby shoe company and really giving it a try. I mustered the courage to tell my boss, who was also a friend who had hired me the exact day I was laid off from my previous job.

True to his form, that friend wanted to make a deal. Even after knowing him for eight years, for some reason I went into that phone call not prepared for a counteroffer that I should have known was coming. Anyway, he offered that I work for him (he was located in an out of state branch office) on the legal matters handled by his office for an hourly rate. The idea was that I would travel to that state once a month to show my face, but that was it (well, I think he thought I would be persuaded to move eventually, but even in that mental state there was no way I was going to do that).

I don’t remember now why I said yes. I don’t think it was the fear of taking time off, because I knew I needed it. I had finished about a year of college during my junior and senior years of high school; then finished my bachelor’s in two years, sometimes taking 24 credits in a semester and working two jobs (I don’t recommend that, and I’m not even sure why I did it); had gone straight into law school; and then straight to work a week after the bar. I realize lots of people go straight through, but for whatever reason, it felt extra rough for me.  I don’t think it was the appeal of working from home, because I had never considered it before. Working from home was for people like artists or really successful people, not me, a year into my career. I think I must have been afraid to say no to him.

I don’t work there anymore, but I do still work from home. Working from home is the plan going forward as well, and I am so certain about my desire to continue that I think I would turn down anything that didn’t give me the option. I have even told my boss I would live in a cardboard box before going back, but maybe that’s an exaggeration. Hey! Something I can turn down!

Getting to this point (and trying to stay here) has been risky of course, because there is naturally an element of self-employedness involved. But more difficult than dealing with the risks has been changing the source of my personal validation. I had to learn to let go of the just-showing-up mentality, adopt an adding-value perspective, and then become disciplined enough to take responsibility for the time I have left over. This might be the biggest personal growth lesson so far in my post-school life. Two years later, I still have my moments, but I’ve learned to work through whatever I maybe feeling and thinking about working from home. What started out as something-I-didn’t-turn-down has turned into an affirmative decision.

Tomorrow, more about how I used to focus on quantity rather than quality, and what I did about it to save my sanity.