The reality, the comfort zone, and beyond

I have always imagined that a big part of this site would be a play by play of my… adventures.. while I achieve my goals. I didn’t start with this on Day 1, but I think over time I have covered enough of my history to give you a good idea of where I am today. And so now, I can report on my activities and decisions as they happen.

I’ll start with goals, because for me, they are my main source of direction. I’m not sure where I learned about goal-setting really, but I can remember writing lists even as a child. I may have mentioned it here before, but recently I passed a childhood reference book of mine on to my friend V’s daughter. V reported back to me that inside, in my childish handwriting, was something along the lines of “Read 5 entries everyday.” I think my dad gave me that book in 1992, so I was about 8 years when I wrote that. Apparently I didn’t follow through, because V only found 5 checkmarks next to the articles, but follow through is a different issue

Back then, without any real control (or understanding) over the direction of my life in the near future, completing a plan like reading 5 entries a day was the goal in itself. But now as an adult, I rarely do things just for the sake of following a plan; there is usually some vision of how following through on the plan will improve my life, my confidence, or contribute to some even greater goal. No surprise there.

Lately work has been a little slow, so I have had the luxury of free time to work on my own projects. I have always kept a running list of ideas and plans and notes that roughly equates to a list of goals, but I haven’t really visited it in as much depth in the last year as I have in the last two months.

I have to tell you, I am a little underwhelmed. I define goals as 1. thing that would be nice to have that 2. you are willing to actually work for. Implied in that definition is the fact that the thing you are working for is a big, and the work required is more than just showing up or giving 50% of your effort. So when I looked closely at my list, I realized that if the items on it are what I imagine as the fruit of my maximum effort applied at something I really want, I don’t really have big plans for my life (and definitely a limited view of what I am capable of).

I think more of the value of my efforts than this shoot-for-the-middle list suggests. I wonder if the stress I felt at the time I made this list is to blame. I do remember that just putting things on it was an achievement, because it showed I had some hope that I could have a future that allowed me to follow my dreams. Whatever it is, the list had to go. And it went this weekend.

So now I am starting from scratch, and it appears I have writer’s block or something.

I came across this editorial about the lies we tell our college graduates about pursuing their passions and following their dreams. It didn’t help because most of it is frighteningly true. Having ventured out into the unstructured world the last few years has been a hair-raising experience. Maintaining the kind of optimism that dreaming big requires is a challenge.

But the fact remains that writing down an idea to get something, whether it is an experience or tangible item or achievement or whatever else, that you don’t already have, does not mean that you have written down a goal. There are to do lists. There are wish lists (which only satisfy item 1 above). There are plans. But it isn’t a list of goals without that element of uncertainty about whether you’ll achieve what is on the list.

I’ve heard it said in different ways. Your goals should scare you a little bit. Your dreams aren’t big enough if you think they can be achieved in your lifetime.

As I sit in front of my blank notebook, with a little more time, experience, and opportunity under my belt; without real obligations or obstacles in my path; with my whole life of time ahead of me; and with the permission to just put the pen to the paper and see how far my imagination will take me, I am paralyzed. What a waste of a rare, lucky chance.

I wish I had some nice resolution to this topic, but I’ve never called myself out with goal-setting before. I guess I have always indulged my own weaknesses by staying squarely in my comfort zone. I have to go beyond that, or else life will just be one giant repeat. I do know that I feel the urge to put myself out there and take a risk, which I guess is a good start, but on what is an open question. I’ll keep thinking about it.

Do you keep a list of goals? What part of goal-setting is the hardest for you? Thinking big? Following through? Under- or over-estimating your abilities?