Getting Ahead: Fear and the Empire

Last week I wrote about getting your detractors off the offensive by asking (seemingly) simple questions to illustrate that everything is not as clear as they may think. It is risky, though, because it can plant the seed of doubt in your own mind about your decisions, feelings, or action plans.

To be clear, doubt = fear.

It isn’t the only way fear shows itself, but today let’s focus on doubt, my personal favorite way to get down. Jokes, oh my. This is related to entrepreneurship, but the message really applies to all sorts of fears.

I listened to that interview with Jordana Jaffe again last night. These are my two biggest takeaways:  

1.            We all have something to contribute. After all, at its core, business is really just one person helping another person. Uh can we get that in color or something? I. Love. It. (more this week on that, by the way). Let’s take a photography business, for example Snap my headshot, charge me money, and you’re in business, lady. I know, without a hint of doubt, that you can do that.

2.            Just because your area of choice is easy, effortless, and enjoyable to you, does not mean:

                a.            That there is not a whole community of people out there for whom that service is not easy, effortless, or enjoyable, and who would much rather pay you than do it themselves; or

                b.            That the effortlessness reflects on the relative value of the service. It doesn’t. That just means that you might actually enjoy your work.

The first point really stands out to me because I have a tendency to think of things in their “done” state. For example, you know me, just working on my super huge organization that eradicates unemployment and lands at the top of the Best Companies to Work For list every year.  Likelihood of success? Um, doubtful. Feeling toward the potential for disaster in even getting started? Fear.

The Empire Mentality would make almost anyone quit before they start.  Focus on your first customer, and you can refine the who’s and what’s later (as in, maybe headshots aren’t the type of photography you want to do in the long term). And by “your first customer” I really mean “my first customer” because this is the exercise I can’t stop thinking about for my own life and business plans. As simple as that. And don’t forget, we have all gotten one customer already (consider the employer you already have, for example, as a customer of your services).  

In other settings, replace the first customer with the first step. Who hasn’t heard that before, but who has actually done it? Very few people would consider themselves incapable of the first step alone, but the whole path leaves room for doubt to creep in and paralyze you.

As to the second point, especially concerning the value of your service, let’s just put this out there. Feel free to disagree, of course. Who taught you to be humble and modest? I rarely advocate violence, but take a moment to give her (because I know it wasn’t a dude) a mental slap. Thesaurus.com lists the terms inferiority complex, lowliness, passiveness, obedience, submissiveness, subservience, timidity, and self-abasement as terms you can use in place of humility. Whhhhhaaaaaa!?

I’m not going to tell you to stop being so nice and humble- on the outside. But I will tell you that at least in your own head, own what you know and what you’re good at! No one will think you’re a snoot because 1. you aren’t, and 2. they aren’t inside your head.

The habit of downplaying your talents is a convenient way to avoid addressing the real issues to be fearful about; I know because I do it all the time. Phhb. And scratch the use of the word fearful in that last sentence: “The habit of downplaying your talents is a convenient way to avoid addressing the real issues to be taken care of.” Like getting your first customer, and doing a good job with him or her. One is manageable… the empire is not (today, at least).

And finally, I’ll leave off with a pretty bold statement. A fear of failure is just the sweet, humble way of describing what is actually a fear of success. It took me a long time to understand that, and it is worth its own post, I think. But first, next week in Getting Ahead let’s talk about getting what you want versus taking what you can get. Hint: If you’re not “owning it” you’re going to be doing more of the latter than the former. Guess how I know that.